Incomplete Parties And The Art Of Pushing Back

Back when I was a host at a snooty restaurant outside of Los Angeles, I had a weekly dilemna that has become a useful metaphor in every job I’ve had since.

On Sundays, the restaurant (heck, let’s call it Solley’s) was packed for brunch, and we did not take reservations. We also didn’t seat incomplete parties.

Suppose you’re coming to bruch with a friend. You get there first. You approach the host (me) and “put your name in.” I write down your name, with the number 2 next to it. Then I refuse to seat you, and turn to the person behind you, asking how many are in their party.

Why am I refusing to seat you? Well, because you are an incomplete party. You are a party of two, and only one of you is present.

But why, you ask reasonably, does the restaurant care whether your party is complete? You yourself have arrived and asked for a table, have you not? You have money to spend, right? So what if your friend has to come in and find you?

It’s not that simple, I say. And then I refuse to explain further. Steam comes out of your ears. You hop up and down. You plot my death as I escort the two people who walked in behind you to the only available two-top in the place. You point emphatically to the window.

“She’s coming!” you cry. That’s her, walking from the car right now! She’ll be here in five seconds! You have to seat us!”

“I’ll definitely seat you as soon as she gets here,” I say, gesturing to some doofus who clearly just wandered in off the street, and might not even pay. Read the rest of this entry »

Things I’ll Never Do Again: Wear A Name Tag

I’ve done a lot of thinking about whether are really any limits to the kind of situation I’d be wiling to find myself in to acheive a meaningful change. And I’ve decided that the main criteria is this: I’m not going to wear a name tag.

I’ve done it before, when I was the host at a restaurant. There’s a very old and true idea that naming something gives you power over it. The customers don’t have nametags, and the staff do. So any customer can look at any staff member and know something about them that’s very important and personal: what their parents decided to call them. Read the rest of this entry »